- Watch the news three times a day
- Become disproportionately invested in soap storylines, soaps which I have gotten back into watching since I've been unemployed
- Spend time hanging out at the town library, just for something to do
- Make up dance routines to songs on adverts
- Feel more than a little excitement about ironing, as it's something to do
- Resent my seventeen year old brother, because he has a social circle and a routine
- Resent my fifty-something year old mother, because of the same
- Resent the colour of our living room wallpaper, it mocks me as I search for jobs
- Resent searching for jobs
- Resent myself for being so resentful
- Just incase you were wondering, the lunchtime news on BBC One, Granada news on ITV at 6pm then Channel 4 News at 7pm.
I went down to the job centre yesterday after an unnecessarily painful process of trying to get an appointment in the first place. Seriously, it is so difficult to start the process of making a claim in the first place I can not fathom why some people think that money just gets given out willy nilly. When I called up to make an appointment the systems were down and the person on the other end of the phone couldn't book me in and asked me to call back in an hour which would have been about 5.15pm. I said I had called at that time two days ago but my phone just rang out until after 6pm (when the phone centre closes) but with no inclination that the phone centre had actually closed and with no answer. She said that there are less agents after 5 so I should really try and call before. I said well sometimes people are a bit busy before 5 and she cut in with a sing-song voice with "Job seekers should be your main priority!" I said that I meant I was looking for opportunities and she just repeated job seekers should be my priority. I didn't have the energy or inclination to carry on by saying that yes, job seekers is my priority that is why I am LOOKING FOR OPPORTUNITIES. But what about other people, for example, those with young families who perhaps cannot get anyone to take children off their hands until after 5? Judgmental woman. So then I had my meeting. The bus didn't come, and as I started to walk to another bus stop on a parallel road to try and get into town as fast as I could one bus just drove straight past me. As soon as I realised a bus was coming I turned around and stuck my arm out, and I was only a few metres from the stop as I started walking, but he drove straight past. When I finally got into town I was about ten minutes late for my appointment and this woman at the desk said "yes you're appointment was ACTUALLY ten minutes ago" and I said "yes, I'm aware, through no fault of my own I was late" and she said "Yes well it is actually an APPOINTMENT and you should TRY to come on time" and I repeated "yes, I'm aware, I did try and through no fault of my own was late" and she repeated "yes well it's ACTUALLY an APPOINTMENT" and I just laughed exasperatedly in her face as she walked off to find out if I could meet my claims adviser. It took a lot for me to not just get mad and say "DO YOU NOT THINK THAT I AM AWARE OF THIS. DO I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT" but I was afraid I would be made to leave the centre or something. Turns out I could still meet the claims adviser and he wasn't bothered at all. I have a meeting with a jobs adviser next week. I do not need an adviser, I just need a job. But needs must. The man I had my claim meeting with said straight away "I can tell you don't want to be here." No shit, Sherlock. He seemed nice enough and I explained that yeah, I'd prefer to be in work but needs must and I've been unemployed for four months now. I had put off claiming for job seekers as I never imagined I would be unemployed for this long and, truthfully, I felt a bit guilty and unentitled to it as I am lucky enough to be able to live with my Mam and she doesn't charge me rent whilst I am looking for work. But then I thought, shit, I'm broke and I've worked since I was 16 and have paid tax in that time. I am entitled to this. Also, I've had a few interviews where I have had to travel not an inconsiderable distance out of my own pocket so JSA could go towards that. But you never know, I might get a job offer before next week. Sorry, this turned into a ranty post.
So I've gotten a few more rejections, including one after they set me a writing task that I took a decent amount of time to complete and they emailed back over a week later saying "It's not what we're looking for, thanks, bye." I emailed back asking for a bit more feedback to help me in future but have heard nothing. I am, however, going to start volunteering at Bolton Little Theatre on Monday so we shall see how that goes. I don't understand, I'm fucking fabulous. How can I shove that in people's faces better?
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