- Watch the news three times a day
- Become disproportionately invested in soap storylines, soaps which I have gotten back into watching since I've been unemployed
- Spend time hanging out at the town library, just for something to do
- Make up dance routines to songs on adverts
- Feel more than a little excitement about ironing, as it's something to do
- Resent my seventeen year old brother, because he has a social circle and a routine
- Resent my fifty-something year old mother, because of the same
- Resent the colour of our living room wallpaper, it mocks me as I search for jobs
- Resent searching for jobs
- Resent myself for being so resentful
- Just incase you were wondering, the lunchtime news on BBC One, Granada news on ITV at 6pm then Channel 4 News at 7pm.
I went down to the job centre yesterday after an unnecessarily painful process of trying to get an appointment in the first place. Seriously, it is so difficult to start the process of making a claim in the first place I can not fathom why some people think that money just gets given out willy nilly. When I called up to make an appointment the systems were down and the person on the other end of the phone couldn't book me in and asked me to call back in an hour which would have been about 5.15pm. I said I had called at that time two days ago but my phone just rang out until after 6pm (when the phone centre closes) but with no inclination that the phone centre had actually closed and with no answer. She said that there are less agents after 5 so I should really try and call before. I said well sometimes people are a bit busy before 5 and she cut in with a sing-song voice with "Job seekers should be your main priority!" I said that I meant I was looking for opportunities and she just repeated job seekers should be my priority. I didn't have the energy or inclination to carry on by saying that yes, job seekers is my priority that is why I am LOOKING FOR OPPORTUNITIES. But what about other people, for example, those with young families who perhaps cannot get anyone to take children off their hands until after 5? Judgmental woman. So then I had my meeting. The bus didn't come, and as I started to walk to another bus stop on a parallel road to try and get into town as fast as I could one bus just drove straight past me. As soon as I realised a bus was coming I turned around and stuck my arm out, and I was only a few metres from the stop as I started walking, but he drove straight past. When I finally got into town I was about ten minutes late for my appointment and this woman at the desk said "yes you're appointment was ACTUALLY ten minutes ago" and I said "yes, I'm aware, through no fault of my own I was late" and she said "Yes well it is actually an APPOINTMENT and you should TRY to come on time" and I repeated "yes, I'm aware, I did try and through no fault of my own was late" and she repeated "yes well it's ACTUALLY an APPOINTMENT" and I just laughed exasperatedly in her face as she walked off to find out if I could meet my claims adviser. It took a lot for me to not just get mad and say "DO YOU NOT THINK THAT I AM AWARE OF THIS. DO I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT" but I was afraid I would be made to leave the centre or something. Turns out I could still meet the claims adviser and he wasn't bothered at all. I have a meeting with a jobs adviser next week. I do not need an adviser, I just need a job. But needs must. The man I had my claim meeting with said straight away "I can tell you don't want to be here." No shit, Sherlock. He seemed nice enough and I explained that yeah, I'd prefer to be in work but needs must and I've been unemployed for four months now. I had put off claiming for job seekers as I never imagined I would be unemployed for this long and, truthfully, I felt a bit guilty and unentitled to it as I am lucky enough to be able to live with my Mam and she doesn't charge me rent whilst I am looking for work. But then I thought, shit, I'm broke and I've worked since I was 16 and have paid tax in that time. I am entitled to this. Also, I've had a few interviews where I have had to travel not an inconsiderable distance out of my own pocket so JSA could go towards that. But you never know, I might get a job offer before next week. Sorry, this turned into a ranty post.
So I've gotten a few more rejections, including one after they set me a writing task that I took a decent amount of time to complete and they emailed back over a week later saying "It's not what we're looking for, thanks, bye." I emailed back asking for a bit more feedback to help me in future but have heard nothing. I am, however, going to start volunteering at Bolton Little Theatre on Monday so we shall see how that goes. I don't understand, I'm fucking fabulous. How can I shove that in people's faces better?
Friday, 31 January 2014
Thursday, 23 January 2014
All things TV
Okay, so this is an overly ambitious title. "Some things TV" or "Some things about Some TV" would be more appropriate.
I worked two part-time jobs last year to support my Masters degree so barely had time to wipe my arse let alone have "fun" and I certainly had no time to watch the TV that everybody kept telling me I "just had to watch!" With unemployment there are many cons but one of the pros - for me at least - has been being able to watch the stuff on that moving picture box that everybody is going on about. And I've watched a whole lot over these past four months. So here are some things I have watched and what I think about them. Some are recent, some aren't, and some are honorable mentions as I have simply had the opportunity to re-watch them in between getting job rejections.
Game of Thrones
This show was somewhere on the periphery of my radar when it debuted in 2011 - a time which, according to my diary, I did have some fun - but it largely passed me by. After numerous recommendations by friends I decided to sit down and watch and this was the first show I devoured once I moved back home. Much has been written by more knowledgeable and widely read bloggers so I will just say that I found it thoroughly enjoyable and often stayed up until stupid o'clock watching the next episode, and the next. I found the story compelling but would be lying if I said I could completely ignore all the problematic elements, but I did my level best and just reveled in the gratuitousness and the hedonism. Arya is my favourite character.
Orange is the New Black
This is the first original Netflix series I watched and again it had been on my radar for a good few months prior to my watching. Hilarious and heartbreaking, the thing I love most about this show is the fact that a whole cross-section of women's stories are being told. Taylor Schilling is an all-American lead actress but it is the stories of the other women in the prison that I feel I want to know more about. Piper Chapman isn't a particularly likeable character, purposefully so, but just as in one moment you experience a slight feeling of schadenfreude in the next you are routing for her to get one over Michael J. Harney's Sam Healy. Fantastic actress Laverne Cox brings a wonderfully nuanced performance to her character and it is the other flashbacks and wee scenes between the different inmates that flesh out this comedy-drama into something great. Janae is the most interesting character for me, can't wait to see what season 2 brings for her.
Hannibal
There is only one word to describe this show; thrilling. A production that has the phrase "viewer discretion advised" running at the bottom of the screen during the opening scene, you know that this isn't going to be quite like other crime dramas. I had heard one or two good things about this, but from external sources rather than friend's recommendations, and Lawrence Fishburne was the one who sealed the deal for me. Based on Red Dragon and at its core a police procedural, the pop culture phenomenon of Thomas Harris' books and the ensuing films mean that any sort of reveal that Hannibal was, in fact, the murdering cannibal all along is impossible so this show keeps the viewers on their toes by weaving in more unexpected twists into the "crime-a-week" mold largely through the editing. Boy, the editing. Close ups of mouthwatering food being served at Hannibal's dining table immediately proceeding a gruesome comment or shot leaves the audience unsure of what the other characters are actually putting into their mouths. There is a delicious sense of the macabre about this show and sterling performances turned in by Hugh Dancy and Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen make this show so completely watchable. Some interesting cameos here and there and my favourite character is Gillian Anderson's Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier, Hannibal's own psychotherapist.
Sleepy Hollow
Like National Treasure but with more ghosts and less Nicolas Cage, Sleepy Hollow is a veritable whistle stop tour of stone mason mythology, mysteries surrounding the Founding Fathers and the events in the Book of Revelations. On paper it looks like there is just too much going on in this show but somehow on screen it pulls together wonderfully and you get swept along. A quietly confident Nicole Beharie is our present-day Police Lieutenant Abbie Mills and striking Tom Mison is our displaced Ichabod Crane. The first act of the first episode sets up the premise of the series: Ichabod, having changed allegiances to the Colonials during America's War of Independence, is killed by a Hessian soldier, not before beheading him, on the battlefield and emerges from the ground 250 years later in present day Sleepy Hollow, New York. Dazed and confused, his path crosses Abbie's when her mentor, the Sheriff, is beheaded by the headless horseman, who has also risen from the dead. The apocalypse is coming and our unlikely pair have to stop it. I won't say anything more for now just that one of the best things about this delightfully camp series, apart from the comedy derived from Mison's adjustment to modern day life, is the diversity of the cast and how organic this feels. Beharie is African-American, as is Orlando Jones' Police Captain Frank Irving (nods to the source material abound in this show) and as we are introduced to their families there are automatically more black and African-American characters on screen. John Cho also stars as Beharie's childhood friend turned colleague and supporting performances from Nicholas Gonzalez mean that this onscreen portrayal of a New York police station actually reflects the state in which it's set. Demons and monsters notwithstanding. Middle Earth veteran John Noble has a recurring part and the guy from the old cinema Orange adverts also pops up in the season finale, which I watched last night, and it left me with an open mouth. I'm not one of those annoying viewers who always says "oh I knew that was coming" but I can often sense the direction a story is going, however, I let out a disbelieving "hooo-hoo!" at one twist last night. There is a whole lot more to say about this show, and I'm sure others have said it better, so for now I'll leave it with Jenny Mills is my favourite character.
Top of the Lake
Jane Campion's eerie detective miniseries had me thinking about different episodes well into the night, there was just something so lingeringly creepy about it. Set in Campion's native New Zealand, fantasy film fans will view the landscape in a completely different way as the warm, inviting yet mysterious terrain quickly becomes cold, isolating and...mysterious. Elisabeth Moss leads the cast as the young detective determined to get to the bottom of the disappearance of Jacqueline Joe's Tui Mitcham and as layer upon layer is peeled back there are "nothing is as it seems" underneath "nothing is as it seems." Peter Mullan, David Wenham and Holly Hunter, whilst being completely different characters, are all just so watchable. I know that sounds like an obvious statement to make about seasoned performers but it is just so apt for this series, my eyes are glued to the screen. I don't think there was any one particularly likeable character but it is their relationships to each other, the crime and the land itself - in fact, New Zealand could be a character in its own right in this show - that makes this show leave its mark hours after viewing. Holly Hunter is sublime as the kooky, bitter leader of the woman's retreat and, though her screen time is less than many others, is my favourite in this.
Angels In America
Okay, so I know this is about ten years old, but I only got round to watching it. Based on a play of the same name, this HBO series has one of the best ensemble casts I have seen on television. Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson and Jeffrey Wright play multiple parts (one of Streep's turns I completely missed, such is her acting talent) in this drama. Set in New York 15 years before it aired, this miniseries combines fantastic dream sequences with all too real kitchen-sink confrontations and raises questions of love, spirituality and conscience in Reagan era America. There is also an interesting blend of historical figures with original characters here which invites the audience to view the fear and paranoia that surrounded AIDS in the 80s through a different lens on top of the obvious retrospective that comes with a 21st century audience. Brilliantly paced and with just the right mix of biting political satire and tender moments I would wholeheartedly recommend this, get it watched. It's a toss up between Mary-Louise Parker's Harper Pitt and Meryl Streep's Ethel Rosenberg for my favourite character.
Six Feet Under
Another HBO show and another one that I'm late to. Centering around a undertakers and how the death of the patriarch affects the family, this series is subtly written and raises questions of death, family and spirituality. I'm only on season 3 just now and whilst I don't necessarily feel like I have to watch the next episode immediately after finishing the previous one I know when I do sit down and watch it I can pick up where I left off and enjoy watching the characters grow and develop painful bit by painful bit. It's another one where each of the characters has distinctive unlikeable elements but you can't help rooting for them all along. Ruth is my favourite, there is just so much to unwrap.
Once Upon a Time and Once Upon a Time in Wonderland
This ABC show and its spin off are wonderfully camp and quite frankly - a word I cannot lay claim to - Shitastic. The fairy tale characters we know and love have been displaced from their quasi-medieval fantasy world of The Enchanted Forest and now live in 21st century Maine, but they do not know their real past. I have actually been following this from the beginning but missed quite a few episodes as I was writing my dissertation so had a catch up session then followed it until its mid-season break in December. It's no real spoiler to say (but if you are particularly bothered then skip this next sentence) that by the end of season one they discover the truth as we are in the middle of season 3 and it would be difficult to string that plot out for 3 seasons. There are twists, turns and fans of the Disney films will squeal at various points as ABC are owned by Disney so can use licensed character names and plot elements. The spin off focuses on Alice after Wonderland and, again, a lot of comedic moments are found in the book-character-meets-21st century moments but my one criticism of this show would be that it does not make quite enough of these. In the main show Regina is my favourite and in the spin off I really like the Knave.
Shows I have re-watched!
Buffy
Obviously
Being Erica
This Canadian show combines two of my favourite things: time travel and publishing. As it's Canadian I think it has that humour about it which is a tad more self-deprecating than the television from south of the border and aligns it more with my dry Britishness.
Sex and the City
It has become the cool thing to hate on, of late. Kind of like Coldplay. But I don't actually like Coldplay. I do like this show, though. Of its time and very obviously about four, privileged white women in New York, I don't think it pretended to be anything else. The later seasons leave me wanting but the earlier ones are just so funny and raise real questions about gender roles in life and love. Some definite problematic elements but, like Game of Thrones, I revel in its gratuitousness and hedonism. And I love Samantha.
Life on Mars
Excellent. Get it watched. As well as a great police drama a lot of comedy is derived from Sam's displaced in time detective. Can you sense a timey/displaced theme yet?
Community
A show for people who love shows. Any and every TV genre, trope and franchise is sent up affectionately by an ensemble cast. Again, the diversity in the cast makes this one a winner for me. Season 5 is just starting and I am excited.
There are probably a few more that I can't think of just now and will add. Any thoughts on the shows I've mentioned?
I worked two part-time jobs last year to support my Masters degree so barely had time to wipe my arse let alone have "fun" and I certainly had no time to watch the TV that everybody kept telling me I "just had to watch!" With unemployment there are many cons but one of the pros - for me at least - has been being able to watch the stuff on that moving picture box that everybody is going on about. And I've watched a whole lot over these past four months. So here are some things I have watched and what I think about them. Some are recent, some aren't, and some are honorable mentions as I have simply had the opportunity to re-watch them in between getting job rejections.
Game of Thrones
This show was somewhere on the periphery of my radar when it debuted in 2011 - a time which, according to my diary, I did have some fun - but it largely passed me by. After numerous recommendations by friends I decided to sit down and watch and this was the first show I devoured once I moved back home. Much has been written by more knowledgeable and widely read bloggers so I will just say that I found it thoroughly enjoyable and often stayed up until stupid o'clock watching the next episode, and the next. I found the story compelling but would be lying if I said I could completely ignore all the problematic elements, but I did my level best and just reveled in the gratuitousness and the hedonism. Arya is my favourite character.
Orange is the New Black
This is the first original Netflix series I watched and again it had been on my radar for a good few months prior to my watching. Hilarious and heartbreaking, the thing I love most about this show is the fact that a whole cross-section of women's stories are being told. Taylor Schilling is an all-American lead actress but it is the stories of the other women in the prison that I feel I want to know more about. Piper Chapman isn't a particularly likeable character, purposefully so, but just as in one moment you experience a slight feeling of schadenfreude in the next you are routing for her to get one over Michael J. Harney's Sam Healy. Fantastic actress Laverne Cox brings a wonderfully nuanced performance to her character and it is the other flashbacks and wee scenes between the different inmates that flesh out this comedy-drama into something great. Janae is the most interesting character for me, can't wait to see what season 2 brings for her.
Hannibal
There is only one word to describe this show; thrilling. A production that has the phrase "viewer discretion advised" running at the bottom of the screen during the opening scene, you know that this isn't going to be quite like other crime dramas. I had heard one or two good things about this, but from external sources rather than friend's recommendations, and Lawrence Fishburne was the one who sealed the deal for me. Based on Red Dragon and at its core a police procedural, the pop culture phenomenon of Thomas Harris' books and the ensuing films mean that any sort of reveal that Hannibal was, in fact, the murdering cannibal all along is impossible so this show keeps the viewers on their toes by weaving in more unexpected twists into the "crime-a-week" mold largely through the editing. Boy, the editing. Close ups of mouthwatering food being served at Hannibal's dining table immediately proceeding a gruesome comment or shot leaves the audience unsure of what the other characters are actually putting into their mouths. There is a delicious sense of the macabre about this show and sterling performances turned in by Hugh Dancy and Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen make this show so completely watchable. Some interesting cameos here and there and my favourite character is Gillian Anderson's Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier, Hannibal's own psychotherapist.
Sleepy Hollow
Like National Treasure but with more ghosts and less Nicolas Cage, Sleepy Hollow is a veritable whistle stop tour of stone mason mythology, mysteries surrounding the Founding Fathers and the events in the Book of Revelations. On paper it looks like there is just too much going on in this show but somehow on screen it pulls together wonderfully and you get swept along. A quietly confident Nicole Beharie is our present-day Police Lieutenant Abbie Mills and striking Tom Mison is our displaced Ichabod Crane. The first act of the first episode sets up the premise of the series: Ichabod, having changed allegiances to the Colonials during America's War of Independence, is killed by a Hessian soldier, not before beheading him, on the battlefield and emerges from the ground 250 years later in present day Sleepy Hollow, New York. Dazed and confused, his path crosses Abbie's when her mentor, the Sheriff, is beheaded by the headless horseman, who has also risen from the dead. The apocalypse is coming and our unlikely pair have to stop it. I won't say anything more for now just that one of the best things about this delightfully camp series, apart from the comedy derived from Mison's adjustment to modern day life, is the diversity of the cast and how organic this feels. Beharie is African-American, as is Orlando Jones' Police Captain Frank Irving (nods to the source material abound in this show) and as we are introduced to their families there are automatically more black and African-American characters on screen. John Cho also stars as Beharie's childhood friend turned colleague and supporting performances from Nicholas Gonzalez mean that this onscreen portrayal of a New York police station actually reflects the state in which it's set. Demons and monsters notwithstanding. Middle Earth veteran John Noble has a recurring part and the guy from the old cinema Orange adverts also pops up in the season finale, which I watched last night, and it left me with an open mouth. I'm not one of those annoying viewers who always says "oh I knew that was coming" but I can often sense the direction a story is going, however, I let out a disbelieving "hooo-hoo!" at one twist last night. There is a whole lot more to say about this show, and I'm sure others have said it better, so for now I'll leave it with Jenny Mills is my favourite character.
Top of the Lake
Jane Campion's eerie detective miniseries had me thinking about different episodes well into the night, there was just something so lingeringly creepy about it. Set in Campion's native New Zealand, fantasy film fans will view the landscape in a completely different way as the warm, inviting yet mysterious terrain quickly becomes cold, isolating and...mysterious. Elisabeth Moss leads the cast as the young detective determined to get to the bottom of the disappearance of Jacqueline Joe's Tui Mitcham and as layer upon layer is peeled back there are "nothing is as it seems" underneath "nothing is as it seems." Peter Mullan, David Wenham and Holly Hunter, whilst being completely different characters, are all just so watchable. I know that sounds like an obvious statement to make about seasoned performers but it is just so apt for this series, my eyes are glued to the screen. I don't think there was any one particularly likeable character but it is their relationships to each other, the crime and the land itself - in fact, New Zealand could be a character in its own right in this show - that makes this show leave its mark hours after viewing. Holly Hunter is sublime as the kooky, bitter leader of the woman's retreat and, though her screen time is less than many others, is my favourite in this.
Angels In America
Okay, so I know this is about ten years old, but I only got round to watching it. Based on a play of the same name, this HBO series has one of the best ensemble casts I have seen on television. Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson and Jeffrey Wright play multiple parts (one of Streep's turns I completely missed, such is her acting talent) in this drama. Set in New York 15 years before it aired, this miniseries combines fantastic dream sequences with all too real kitchen-sink confrontations and raises questions of love, spirituality and conscience in Reagan era America. There is also an interesting blend of historical figures with original characters here which invites the audience to view the fear and paranoia that surrounded AIDS in the 80s through a different lens on top of the obvious retrospective that comes with a 21st century audience. Brilliantly paced and with just the right mix of biting political satire and tender moments I would wholeheartedly recommend this, get it watched. It's a toss up between Mary-Louise Parker's Harper Pitt and Meryl Streep's Ethel Rosenberg for my favourite character.
Six Feet Under
Another HBO show and another one that I'm late to. Centering around a undertakers and how the death of the patriarch affects the family, this series is subtly written and raises questions of death, family and spirituality. I'm only on season 3 just now and whilst I don't necessarily feel like I have to watch the next episode immediately after finishing the previous one I know when I do sit down and watch it I can pick up where I left off and enjoy watching the characters grow and develop painful bit by painful bit. It's another one where each of the characters has distinctive unlikeable elements but you can't help rooting for them all along. Ruth is my favourite, there is just so much to unwrap.
Once Upon a Time and Once Upon a Time in Wonderland
This ABC show and its spin off are wonderfully camp and quite frankly - a word I cannot lay claim to - Shitastic. The fairy tale characters we know and love have been displaced from their quasi-medieval fantasy world of The Enchanted Forest and now live in 21st century Maine, but they do not know their real past. I have actually been following this from the beginning but missed quite a few episodes as I was writing my dissertation so had a catch up session then followed it until its mid-season break in December. It's no real spoiler to say (but if you are particularly bothered then skip this next sentence) that by the end of season one they discover the truth as we are in the middle of season 3 and it would be difficult to string that plot out for 3 seasons. There are twists, turns and fans of the Disney films will squeal at various points as ABC are owned by Disney so can use licensed character names and plot elements. The spin off focuses on Alice after Wonderland and, again, a lot of comedic moments are found in the book-character-meets-21st century moments but my one criticism of this show would be that it does not make quite enough of these. In the main show Regina is my favourite and in the spin off I really like the Knave.
Shows I have re-watched!
Buffy
Obviously
Being Erica
This Canadian show combines two of my favourite things: time travel and publishing. As it's Canadian I think it has that humour about it which is a tad more self-deprecating than the television from south of the border and aligns it more with my dry Britishness.
Sex and the City
It has become the cool thing to hate on, of late. Kind of like Coldplay. But I don't actually like Coldplay. I do like this show, though. Of its time and very obviously about four, privileged white women in New York, I don't think it pretended to be anything else. The later seasons leave me wanting but the earlier ones are just so funny and raise real questions about gender roles in life and love. Some definite problematic elements but, like Game of Thrones, I revel in its gratuitousness and hedonism. And I love Samantha.
Life on Mars
Excellent. Get it watched. As well as a great police drama a lot of comedy is derived from Sam's displaced in time detective. Can you sense a timey/displaced theme yet?
Community
A show for people who love shows. Any and every TV genre, trope and franchise is sent up affectionately by an ensemble cast. Again, the diversity in the cast makes this one a winner for me. Season 5 is just starting and I am excited.
There are probably a few more that I can't think of just now and will add. Any thoughts on the shows I've mentioned?
Monday, 20 January 2014
Borneo, Blues and that time what I nearly died on Blue Monday
My younger sister returned from her research field trip to Borneo on Saturday. Filthy and exhausted but brimming with fantastic stories of the place, the people and the pests she showed us the corresponding bruises and bites before nearly collapsing into bed. It sounded amazing and I'm actually quite jealous that the closest we ever got to a field trip on my course was that time we had to change rooms from our regular seminar room to one in a different building.
Did anybody ever watch Serious Jungle on CBBC? My sister's trip basically sounded like that. I always wanted to go on it. And I imagine it's generally good prep for the impending apocalypse (be it Zombie, nuclear or bacterial: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/world-without-antibiotics-risk-real-experts-042134071.html ).
Her birthday was at the end of December so me and my brother decided to make a survival kit and filled it with microfibre cloths, a cow shaped dynamo torch, a flat water bottle (it looks like a reusable capri-sun and you can roll it up and things) and some paracord which I fashioned into some bracelets so she could look fabulous and have the longest washing line in camp. Ano, best siblings ever.
Then on Sunday I went to a blues dance workshop. I've not really danced a lot since I've moved back home, it's not that expensive to go but when you're unemployed you start wincing at every bus fare. I also feel like I have lost a bit of the enjoyment that I used to find in dancing and other things I used to do when I had fun. I know a large part of that is just falling out of the habit of going dancing in the first place and staying in the house all day as I apply for jobs whilst the slow but persistent sap of self-esteem that comes hand in hand with unemployment takes a part of my soul and leaves me a vapid shell whose primary enjoyment comes from that night's episode of Celebrity Big Brother. But back to the workshop. It was really great and I'm glad I went down, I did the first half as a follow and the second as a lead and the music was funking great. I have been thinking a lot about gender roles in partner dancing recently but that is really another post for another time. I learnt a few nifty moves and most of the feedback I got was learning to relax into the hold a bit more, I know I can be a bit stiff.
So that brings us to today; Blue Monday. The weather was so lovely and I thought it would be nice to go for a walk. A few weeks prior, in preparation for her Borneo trip, my sister had done a lot of walking near ours with her backpack and I went with her one time. I hadn't gone for a proper walk near ours in years and I ended up taking us on a bit of a diversion as I tried to remember an alternative route that I had taken years previously, we ended up joining it halfway and my sister said she found it properly the next day when she went by herself.
A slight tangent here, but I spent weeks and weeks exploring the countryside near me the Summer I finished my GCSEs. I was with a lad who I considered to be the love of my life at the time and that particular Summer was a really hot one, bright sunshine everyday. We would spend hours walking around, up hill and through dale, largely because we didn't have a whole lot of money and loads of time to kill. We were both pretty active and though we would spend whole days just in front of the TV I think the walking offset it well enough. He also house-sat his Auntie's place for a week or so and me and a bunch of his friends would just hang out in the garden in the paddling pool. I hadn't lived in that area for too long so didn't know the woods that well compared to the woods outside my old house on the other side of town so it was great to have somebody show me all the cool places and it didn't hurt that he was a slamming hottie. Quite possibly the best looking lad I've been out with (sorry other boyfs who may have stumbled across this. Good news for you is that I'm still single with no meaningful relationship on the horizon. Bad news is that I haven't gotten fat). It ended, as these teenage romances are wont to do, at the end of the Summer after a pretty hurtful incident.
But back to today! We went on a walk at about 3pm and once we reached a familiar turnaround point decided to go a bit further along the route. I may have taken it before though couldn't quite remember but it was really beautiful and we decided to explore a smaller trail that was off the main route. At this point I should explain the terrain: it's very hilly, woody, mossy, and damp. Our town is bordered by the Winter Hill (part of the West Pennine Moors) so as we walk away from our house we steadily climb up but within this there are many mounds, shallow dips and ravines. Most of it is woodland (unless it has been cleared for farming) and although it was a lovely day today there has been a lot of rainfall so it was pretty damp and muddy. We continue to enjoy our little side tour and decide that there is a jolly good chance we can just keep going in a certain direction to meet a main route as we can see a small trail. We're quite high at this point walking alongside a tributary that is flowing at the bottom of quite a steep ravine as we continue on we eventually end up at water level and can see it flows through a small tunnel going under a main road. We know where we are and which main road it is so we decide to walk through the tunnel as the water is really shallow and want to see what's there. The water is freezing and we both slip at points so now, after staying reasonably dry, we are both soaking. We get back on a small trail parallel to the water but this trail soon ends and we find ourselves about half way up a steep ravine with no obvious trail forwards, down towards the water or up towards the top. The light has started going and neither of us really intended to be out this long, I haven't started to worry as I know generally where we are but at this point it is getting tiring and we both keep slipping on the muddy and mossy ground. A couple of seemingly sturdy roots and branches snap in my hand, leaving little thorny presents, and my sister decides to see if she can get to the top and see what is going on. The light is getting pretty dim just now and she says she can see lights but not much else and we know the main road is at the top of the other side of the ravine so we decide to cross over the tributary and scale the other side, though I express some reservations at how steep it is. We both end up doing controlled slides down the side of the ravine, though neither of us has appropriate clothing for the expedition this walk has turned into, and at this point I start to get anxious about the failing light, our lack of trail and the prospect of rock climbing because at the other side the top third is sheer rock face.
I hurt my wrist as I slip whilst coming out of the water and fall more than once as with squelchy clothing and shoes we scale the other side and I make for the rocks. I start to get really quite worried, thinking, "this is how these stories start! You hear about hikers and things who break limbs or die after just going out for a walk and people say 'oh no, they just went out for a walk' and that could be us what about if we need to get rescued does Bolton even have a mountain rescue or something how are we going to climb this what if my sister slips and breaks her leg because she has dyspraxia and a dodgy knee we were just joking about apocalypse scenarios last night and how she would probably go because she would fall over something" ... and so on. The ravine looks a lot steeper as the light fails and once we reach the rocks I start to climb but struggle to get on top of the first ledge as it's quite far from where my foothold is, a foothold which is rapidly slipping downwards in the mud. I grab on to another rock, which promptly crumbles in my hand, and I suddenly have a whole new set of worries about rocks knocking us both out or crushing our skulls.This isn't like Serious Jungle. We manage to get on the first ledge and realise (AS IF WE HAVEN'T UP TO THIS POINT) that we probably won't be able to scale the rest as it really is sheer and whilst we're both reasonably fit neither of us are experienced climbers and there is water trickling down the damp and slippy rocks which are FALLING DOWN THE SIDE OF THE RAVINE IF THEY AREN'T CRUMBLING IN OUR HANDS. We slide/stumble back to about half way down our side and decide to just persevere forwards, slipping and squelching as we hope we will find a trail. I start to worry a whole lot and though I can check where we are on my phone I wonder if we'll just come to a dead end. The ravine curves slightly ahead and as we turn we see the land start to flatten out. It is not very far from the ROCKS OF DEATH but the trees and the dimming light meant that my sister could not really see it when she was at the top of the other side of the ravine. There is not really a trail but the flatter terrain makes it easier to keep going, despite the two massive moss covered trees across the ground which must have fallen some months or years previously in a storm. We eventually see the low, rough stone wall that runs alongside the main road and whilst there is a steep incline up to it we make it up and over the last hurdle onto the main road and civilisation. We are both filthy. I'm wearing walking boots that aren't waterproof and jeans so the filth is obvious though my sister was wearing black leggings and had a nice pair of waterproof boots on so just looks a little bit ruffled. A sigh of relief as we walk a familiar route with sore feet and many small thorns and splinters in our hands as we had grabbed on to roots and vines during our ordeal. Unable to see them to pick them out in the failing light we mutually complain and continue on. THEN A WHITE VAN HONKS AT US AND IT MAKES ME REALLY MAD. SERIOUSLY, WE GET STREET HARASSED AFTER NEARLY DYING. I ACTUALLY EVEN THINK THAT OUR ENTIRE ORDEAL WAS THE FAULT OF THE PATRIARCHY. PROBABLY.
When I get home I do the thing that Mam used to make us do if we had been playing out and were really mucky where I took my trousers and socks off by the front door because they were too dirty to wear through the house. I had a shower where my hands tingled so much they were painful because of the thorns and the cold weather as I didn't want to put my gloves back on during the walk home with so many splinters and thorns. They are still a bit tingly now, actually.
So that was my Blue Monday, how was yours?
Did anybody ever watch Serious Jungle on CBBC? My sister's trip basically sounded like that. I always wanted to go on it. And I imagine it's generally good prep for the impending apocalypse (be it Zombie, nuclear or bacterial: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/world-without-antibiotics-risk-real-experts-042134071.html ).
Her birthday was at the end of December so me and my brother decided to make a survival kit and filled it with microfibre cloths, a cow shaped dynamo torch, a flat water bottle (it looks like a reusable capri-sun and you can roll it up and things) and some paracord which I fashioned into some bracelets so she could look fabulous and have the longest washing line in camp. Ano, best siblings ever.
Then on Sunday I went to a blues dance workshop. I've not really danced a lot since I've moved back home, it's not that expensive to go but when you're unemployed you start wincing at every bus fare. I also feel like I have lost a bit of the enjoyment that I used to find in dancing and other things I used to do when I had fun. I know a large part of that is just falling out of the habit of going dancing in the first place and staying in the house all day as I apply for jobs whilst the slow but persistent sap of self-esteem that comes hand in hand with unemployment takes a part of my soul and leaves me a vapid shell whose primary enjoyment comes from that night's episode of Celebrity Big Brother. But back to the workshop. It was really great and I'm glad I went down, I did the first half as a follow and the second as a lead and the music was funking great. I have been thinking a lot about gender roles in partner dancing recently but that is really another post for another time. I learnt a few nifty moves and most of the feedback I got was learning to relax into the hold a bit more, I know I can be a bit stiff.
So that brings us to today; Blue Monday. The weather was so lovely and I thought it would be nice to go for a walk. A few weeks prior, in preparation for her Borneo trip, my sister had done a lot of walking near ours with her backpack and I went with her one time. I hadn't gone for a proper walk near ours in years and I ended up taking us on a bit of a diversion as I tried to remember an alternative route that I had taken years previously, we ended up joining it halfway and my sister said she found it properly the next day when she went by herself.
A slight tangent here, but I spent weeks and weeks exploring the countryside near me the Summer I finished my GCSEs. I was with a lad who I considered to be the love of my life at the time and that particular Summer was a really hot one, bright sunshine everyday. We would spend hours walking around, up hill and through dale, largely because we didn't have a whole lot of money and loads of time to kill. We were both pretty active and though we would spend whole days just in front of the TV I think the walking offset it well enough. He also house-sat his Auntie's place for a week or so and me and a bunch of his friends would just hang out in the garden in the paddling pool. I hadn't lived in that area for too long so didn't know the woods that well compared to the woods outside my old house on the other side of town so it was great to have somebody show me all the cool places and it didn't hurt that he was a slamming hottie. Quite possibly the best looking lad I've been out with (sorry other boyfs who may have stumbled across this. Good news for you is that I'm still single with no meaningful relationship on the horizon. Bad news is that I haven't gotten fat). It ended, as these teenage romances are wont to do, at the end of the Summer after a pretty hurtful incident.
But back to today! We went on a walk at about 3pm and once we reached a familiar turnaround point decided to go a bit further along the route. I may have taken it before though couldn't quite remember but it was really beautiful and we decided to explore a smaller trail that was off the main route. At this point I should explain the terrain: it's very hilly, woody, mossy, and damp. Our town is bordered by the Winter Hill (part of the West Pennine Moors) so as we walk away from our house we steadily climb up but within this there are many mounds, shallow dips and ravines. Most of it is woodland (unless it has been cleared for farming) and although it was a lovely day today there has been a lot of rainfall so it was pretty damp and muddy. We continue to enjoy our little side tour and decide that there is a jolly good chance we can just keep going in a certain direction to meet a main route as we can see a small trail. We're quite high at this point walking alongside a tributary that is flowing at the bottom of quite a steep ravine as we continue on we eventually end up at water level and can see it flows through a small tunnel going under a main road. We know where we are and which main road it is so we decide to walk through the tunnel as the water is really shallow and want to see what's there. The water is freezing and we both slip at points so now, after staying reasonably dry, we are both soaking. We get back on a small trail parallel to the water but this trail soon ends and we find ourselves about half way up a steep ravine with no obvious trail forwards, down towards the water or up towards the top. The light has started going and neither of us really intended to be out this long, I haven't started to worry as I know generally where we are but at this point it is getting tiring and we both keep slipping on the muddy and mossy ground. A couple of seemingly sturdy roots and branches snap in my hand, leaving little thorny presents, and my sister decides to see if she can get to the top and see what is going on. The light is getting pretty dim just now and she says she can see lights but not much else and we know the main road is at the top of the other side of the ravine so we decide to cross over the tributary and scale the other side, though I express some reservations at how steep it is. We both end up doing controlled slides down the side of the ravine, though neither of us has appropriate clothing for the expedition this walk has turned into, and at this point I start to get anxious about the failing light, our lack of trail and the prospect of rock climbing because at the other side the top third is sheer rock face.
I hurt my wrist as I slip whilst coming out of the water and fall more than once as with squelchy clothing and shoes we scale the other side and I make for the rocks. I start to get really quite worried, thinking, "this is how these stories start! You hear about hikers and things who break limbs or die after just going out for a walk and people say 'oh no, they just went out for a walk' and that could be us what about if we need to get rescued does Bolton even have a mountain rescue or something how are we going to climb this what if my sister slips and breaks her leg because she has dyspraxia and a dodgy knee we were just joking about apocalypse scenarios last night and how she would probably go because she would fall over something" ... and so on. The ravine looks a lot steeper as the light fails and once we reach the rocks I start to climb but struggle to get on top of the first ledge as it's quite far from where my foothold is, a foothold which is rapidly slipping downwards in the mud. I grab on to another rock, which promptly crumbles in my hand, and I suddenly have a whole new set of worries about rocks knocking us both out or crushing our skulls.This isn't like Serious Jungle. We manage to get on the first ledge and realise (AS IF WE HAVEN'T UP TO THIS POINT) that we probably won't be able to scale the rest as it really is sheer and whilst we're both reasonably fit neither of us are experienced climbers and there is water trickling down the damp and slippy rocks which are FALLING DOWN THE SIDE OF THE RAVINE IF THEY AREN'T CRUMBLING IN OUR HANDS. We slide/stumble back to about half way down our side and decide to just persevere forwards, slipping and squelching as we hope we will find a trail. I start to worry a whole lot and though I can check where we are on my phone I wonder if we'll just come to a dead end. The ravine curves slightly ahead and as we turn we see the land start to flatten out. It is not very far from the ROCKS OF DEATH but the trees and the dimming light meant that my sister could not really see it when she was at the top of the other side of the ravine. There is not really a trail but the flatter terrain makes it easier to keep going, despite the two massive moss covered trees across the ground which must have fallen some months or years previously in a storm. We eventually see the low, rough stone wall that runs alongside the main road and whilst there is a steep incline up to it we make it up and over the last hurdle onto the main road and civilisation. We are both filthy. I'm wearing walking boots that aren't waterproof and jeans so the filth is obvious though my sister was wearing black leggings and had a nice pair of waterproof boots on so just looks a little bit ruffled. A sigh of relief as we walk a familiar route with sore feet and many small thorns and splinters in our hands as we had grabbed on to roots and vines during our ordeal. Unable to see them to pick them out in the failing light we mutually complain and continue on. THEN A WHITE VAN HONKS AT US AND IT MAKES ME REALLY MAD. SERIOUSLY, WE GET STREET HARASSED AFTER NEARLY DYING. I ACTUALLY EVEN THINK THAT OUR ENTIRE ORDEAL WAS THE FAULT OF THE PATRIARCHY. PROBABLY.
When I get home I do the thing that Mam used to make us do if we had been playing out and were really mucky where I took my trousers and socks off by the front door because they were too dirty to wear through the house. I had a shower where my hands tingled so much they were painful because of the thorns and the cold weather as I didn't want to put my gloves back on during the walk home with so many splinters and thorns. They are still a bit tingly now, actually.
So that was my Blue Monday, how was yours?
Friday, 17 January 2014
Countdown and cyanide
I've been unemployed for four months now. I am a recent graduate ... blah blah blah we all have the same story. I've applied for 50+ jobs in that time, it's just really difficult to make your CV stand.... blah blah blah poor me.
Now, to more important things. I get to do stuff like go to Countdown recordings. Mid-week. And send hilarious snapchats, but back to Countdown.
I ended up going by myself even though I had tickets for three because, you guessed it, everybody else actually works. I didn't mind so much, I've never been afraid of doing things by myself and I got chatting to this nice retired couple who were sat next to me. I had been in that same studio in November for the University Challenge Christmas Special so it was interesting to see the space turned into the Countdown set. We got wee pads and pens on our seats so that we could play along which was fun, if I watch it at home I don't usually play properly so it was good to get my brain actually working properly for the first time in weeks. I even got an eight letter word. It seemed as though they film all five shows for the week in the one day and as I had tickets for the afternoon session we saw three shows. I think if I come again I'll try and get tickets for the morning session, which is only two shows, as three shows felt quite long even though we got given a two-finger kitkat between the second and third shows that afternoon (somebody said it used to be four fingers), but overall it was great fun. Janet Street-Porter was in dictionary corner and she regaled us with tales of her walking and rambling shenanigans and was just generally fabulous.
Those who have been to TV recordings before will be aware that there is an audience warm-up act. For those who haven't, well, let me tell you that there is an audience warm-up act. They are generally there before filming starts, lead the applause when the audience claps for good answers or for the break and they keep us occupied between the shows as the stars change their clothes to, you know, make it look like it is a different day. Our warm-up act was absolutely dire and quite offensive. His jokes were really bad, lazily written and he made a lot of sexist comments (I won't say jokes because they weren't even crafted at all) and threw a racist one in there for good measure where the "punchline" was simply "Chinese people". He interacted with the audience and at one point said to me "are you alright? You look very serious" and I wish I had thought of a good heckle but I didn't have the confidence, being there on my own and all. I was actually thoroughly enjoying every moment he wasn't in front of us, I tend to only look serious when THERE IS A RACIST, SEXIST MAN TRYING TO MAKE ME LAUGH.
Nick Hewer came over to the audience just before filming began just as the warm-up act had started talking about Benefits Street and how it was disgraceful that there are so many people that just don't work and claim welfare and how people are getting £100,000 in benefit payments. To my delight Nick Hewer started challenging this warm-up act and talked about how welfare reform was making it impossible for many people to have any sort of standard of living and how many of these programmes are quite exploitative. He mentioned how he had spoken to some single mums as part of some of the work he does and just how difficult they find it, "it's no way to live, we must do something different" he kept repeating. He's in my good books.
Then filming started! I didn't realise that the numbers' board is on the back of the letters' board and that when they change games from letters to numbers they pause filming, turn the board around and bring up the numbers card table, and vice versa. Well, I thought it was interesting.
I didn't get any of the tea time teasers nor the conundrum, although one member of the audience got the second game's conundrum, and as the first conundrum turned over a magnetic "o" fell off. They had to get a new one for that game but I thought the whole thing was quite quaint, and hilarious, the tools of the game are still relatively low-tech. Somebody said that in other countries many elements of Countdown are electronic but here in Britain we just love tradition. One of the contestants had won eight games in row but did not continue after the Friday show, instead he'll return for the championships. He came up with some great words. I can say that, as an English graduate.
So that was my week that was. You might be wondering what the "cyanide" thing is about in the title. Well I was watching an old episode of CSI: NY as I was writing this (I do apply for jobs and that during the day, I just sometimes like the telly on in the background too) and somebody had been poisoned by crushed peach pips and it got me wondering, why do we not get cyanide poisoning from almonds? There must be an obvious answer. And there is! Commercially sold almonds are sweet almonds and devoid of toxicity. If you are in the wild stay away from wild almonds (usually dark green in colour) as these are the ones full of cyanide.
Now, to more important things. I get to do stuff like go to Countdown recordings. Mid-week. And send hilarious snapchats, but back to Countdown.
I ended up going by myself even though I had tickets for three because, you guessed it, everybody else actually works. I didn't mind so much, I've never been afraid of doing things by myself and I got chatting to this nice retired couple who were sat next to me. I had been in that same studio in November for the University Challenge Christmas Special so it was interesting to see the space turned into the Countdown set. We got wee pads and pens on our seats so that we could play along which was fun, if I watch it at home I don't usually play properly so it was good to get my brain actually working properly for the first time in weeks. I even got an eight letter word. It seemed as though they film all five shows for the week in the one day and as I had tickets for the afternoon session we saw three shows. I think if I come again I'll try and get tickets for the morning session, which is only two shows, as three shows felt quite long even though we got given a two-finger kitkat between the second and third shows that afternoon (somebody said it used to be four fingers), but overall it was great fun. Janet Street-Porter was in dictionary corner and she regaled us with tales of her walking and rambling shenanigans and was just generally fabulous.
Those who have been to TV recordings before will be aware that there is an audience warm-up act. For those who haven't, well, let me tell you that there is an audience warm-up act. They are generally there before filming starts, lead the applause when the audience claps for good answers or for the break and they keep us occupied between the shows as the stars change their clothes to, you know, make it look like it is a different day. Our warm-up act was absolutely dire and quite offensive. His jokes were really bad, lazily written and he made a lot of sexist comments (I won't say jokes because they weren't even crafted at all) and threw a racist one in there for good measure where the "punchline" was simply "Chinese people". He interacted with the audience and at one point said to me "are you alright? You look very serious" and I wish I had thought of a good heckle but I didn't have the confidence, being there on my own and all. I was actually thoroughly enjoying every moment he wasn't in front of us, I tend to only look serious when THERE IS A RACIST, SEXIST MAN TRYING TO MAKE ME LAUGH.
Nick Hewer came over to the audience just before filming began just as the warm-up act had started talking about Benefits Street and how it was disgraceful that there are so many people that just don't work and claim welfare and how people are getting £100,000 in benefit payments. To my delight Nick Hewer started challenging this warm-up act and talked about how welfare reform was making it impossible for many people to have any sort of standard of living and how many of these programmes are quite exploitative. He mentioned how he had spoken to some single mums as part of some of the work he does and just how difficult they find it, "it's no way to live, we must do something different" he kept repeating. He's in my good books.
Then filming started! I didn't realise that the numbers' board is on the back of the letters' board and that when they change games from letters to numbers they pause filming, turn the board around and bring up the numbers card table, and vice versa. Well, I thought it was interesting.
I didn't get any of the tea time teasers nor the conundrum, although one member of the audience got the second game's conundrum, and as the first conundrum turned over a magnetic "o" fell off. They had to get a new one for that game but I thought the whole thing was quite quaint, and hilarious, the tools of the game are still relatively low-tech. Somebody said that in other countries many elements of Countdown are electronic but here in Britain we just love tradition. One of the contestants had won eight games in row but did not continue after the Friday show, instead he'll return for the championships. He came up with some great words. I can say that, as an English graduate.
So that was my week that was. You might be wondering what the "cyanide" thing is about in the title. Well I was watching an old episode of CSI: NY as I was writing this (I do apply for jobs and that during the day, I just sometimes like the telly on in the background too) and somebody had been poisoned by crushed peach pips and it got me wondering, why do we not get cyanide poisoning from almonds? There must be an obvious answer. And there is! Commercially sold almonds are sweet almonds and devoid of toxicity. If you are in the wild stay away from wild almonds (usually dark green in colour) as these are the ones full of cyanide.
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