Countdown and cyanide

I've been unemployed for four months now. I am a recent graduate ... blah blah blah we all have the same story. I've applied for 50+ jobs in that time, it's just really difficult to make your CV stand.... blah blah blah poor me.

Now, to more important things. I get to do stuff like go to Countdown recordings. Mid-week. And send hilarious snapchats, but back to Countdown.

I ended up going by myself even though I had tickets for three because, you guessed it, everybody else actually works. I didn't mind so much, I've never been afraid of doing things by myself and I got chatting to this nice retired couple who were sat next to me. I had been in that same studio in November for the University Challenge Christmas Special so it was interesting to see the space turned into the Countdown set. We got wee pads and pens on our seats so that we could play along which was fun, if I watch it at home I don't usually play properly so it was good to get my brain actually working properly for the first time in weeks. I even got an eight letter word. It seemed as though they film all five shows for the week in the one day and as I had tickets for the afternoon session we saw three shows. I think if I come again I'll try and get tickets for the morning session, which is only two shows, as three shows felt quite long even though we got given a two-finger kitkat between the second and third shows that afternoon (somebody said it used to be four fingers), but overall it was great fun. Janet Street-Porter was in dictionary corner and she regaled us with tales of her walking and rambling shenanigans and was just generally fabulous.

Those who have been to TV recordings before will be aware that there is an audience warm-up act. For those who haven't, well, let me tell you that there is an audience warm-up act. They are generally there before filming starts, lead the applause when the audience claps for good answers or for the break and they keep us occupied between the shows as the stars change their clothes to, you know, make it look like it is a different day. Our warm-up act was absolutely dire and quite offensive. His jokes were really bad, lazily written and he made a lot of sexist comments (I won't say jokes because they weren't even crafted at all) and threw a racist one in there for good measure where the "punchline" was simply "Chinese people". He interacted with the audience and at one point said to me "are you alright? You look very serious" and I wish I had thought of a good heckle but I didn't have the confidence, being there on my own and all. I was actually thoroughly enjoying every moment he wasn't in front of us, I tend to only look serious when THERE IS A RACIST, SEXIST MAN TRYING TO MAKE ME LAUGH.

Nick Hewer came over to the audience just before filming began just as the warm-up act had started talking about Benefits Street and how it was disgraceful that there are so many people that just don't work and claim welfare and how people are getting £100,000 in benefit payments. To my delight Nick Hewer started challenging this warm-up act and talked about how welfare reform was making it impossible for many people to have any sort of standard of living and how many of these programmes are quite exploitative. He mentioned how he had spoken to some single mums as part of some of the work he does and just how difficult they find it, "it's no way to live, we must do something different" he kept repeating. He's in my good books.

Then filming started! I didn't realise that the numbers' board is on the back of the letters' board and that when they change games from letters to numbers they pause filming, turn the board around and bring up the numbers card table, and vice versa. Well, I thought it was interesting.

I didn't get any of the tea time teasers nor the conundrum, although one member of the audience got the second game's conundrum, and as the first conundrum turned over a magnetic "o" fell off. They had to get a new one for that game but I thought the whole thing was quite quaint, and hilarious, the tools of the game are still relatively low-tech. Somebody said that in other countries many elements of Countdown are electronic but here in Britain we just love tradition. One of the contestants had won eight games in row but did not continue after the Friday show, instead he'll return for the championships. He came up with some great words. I can say that, as an English graduate.

So that was my week that was. You might be wondering what the "cyanide" thing is about in the title. Well I was watching an old episode of CSI: NY as I was writing this (I do apply for jobs and that during the day, I just sometimes like the telly on in the background too) and somebody had been poisoned by crushed peach pips and it got me wondering, why do we not get cyanide poisoning from almonds? There must be an obvious answer. And there is! Commercially sold almonds are sweet almonds and devoid of toxicity. If you are in the wild stay away from wild almonds (usually dark green in colour) as these are the ones full of cyanide.