Borneo, Blues and that time what I nearly died on Blue Monday

My younger sister returned from her research field trip to Borneo on Saturday. Filthy and exhausted but brimming with fantastic stories of the place, the people and the pests she showed us the corresponding bruises and bites before nearly collapsing into bed. It sounded amazing and I'm actually quite jealous that the closest we ever got to a field trip on my course was that time we had to change rooms from our regular seminar room to one in a different building.

Did anybody ever watch Serious Jungle on CBBC? My sister's trip basically sounded like that. I always wanted to go on it. And I imagine it's generally good prep for the impending apocalypse (be it Zombie, nuclear or bacterial: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/world-without-antibiotics-risk-real-experts-042134071.html ).

Her birthday was at the end of December so me and my brother decided to make a survival kit and filled it with microfibre cloths, a cow shaped dynamo torch, a flat water bottle (it looks like a reusable capri-sun and you can roll it up and things) and some paracord which I fashioned into some bracelets so she could look fabulous and have the longest washing line in camp. Ano, best siblings ever.

Then on Sunday I went to a blues dance workshop. I've not really danced a lot since I've moved back home, it's not that expensive to go but when you're unemployed you start wincing at every bus fare. I also feel like I have lost a bit of the enjoyment that I used to find in dancing and other things I used to do when I had fun. I know a large part of that is just falling out of the habit of going dancing in the first place and staying in the house all day as I apply for jobs whilst the slow but persistent sap of self-esteem that comes hand in hand with unemployment takes a part of my soul and leaves me a vapid shell whose primary enjoyment comes from that night's episode of Celebrity Big Brother. But back to the workshop. It was really great and I'm glad I went down, I did the first half as a follow and the second as a lead and the music was funking great. I have been thinking a lot about gender roles in partner dancing recently but that is really another post for another time. I learnt a few nifty moves and most of the feedback I got was learning to relax into the hold a bit more, I know I can be a bit stiff.

So that brings us to today; Blue Monday. The weather was so lovely and I thought it would be nice to go for a walk. A few weeks prior, in preparation for her Borneo trip, my sister had done a lot of walking near ours with her backpack and I went with her one time. I hadn't gone for a proper walk near ours in years and I ended up taking us on a bit of a diversion as I tried to remember an alternative route that I had taken years previously, we ended up joining it halfway and my sister said she found it properly the next day when she went by herself.

A slight tangent here, but I spent weeks and weeks exploring the countryside near me the Summer I finished my GCSEs. I was with a lad who I considered to be the love of my life at the time and that particular Summer was a really hot one, bright sunshine everyday. We would spend hours walking around, up hill and through dale, largely because we didn't have a whole lot of money and loads of time to kill. We were both pretty active and though we would spend whole days just in front of the TV I think the walking offset it well enough. He also house-sat his Auntie's place for a week or so and me and a bunch of his friends would just hang out in the garden in the paddling pool. I hadn't lived in that area for too long so didn't know the woods that well compared to the woods outside my old house on the other side of town so it was great to have somebody show me all the cool places and it didn't hurt that he was a slamming hottie. Quite possibly the best looking lad I've been out with (sorry other boyfs who may have stumbled across this. Good news for you is that I'm still single with no meaningful relationship on the horizon. Bad news is that I haven't gotten fat). It ended, as these teenage romances are wont to do, at the end of the Summer after a pretty hurtful incident.

But back to today! We went on a walk at about 3pm and once we reached a familiar turnaround point decided to go a bit further along the route. I may have taken it before though couldn't quite remember but it was really beautiful and we decided to explore a smaller trail that was off the main route. At this point I should explain the terrain: it's very hilly, woody, mossy, and damp. Our town is bordered by the Winter Hill (part of the West Pennine Moors) so as we walk away from our house we steadily climb up but within this there are many mounds, shallow dips and ravines. Most of it is woodland (unless it has been cleared for farming) and although it was a lovely day today there has been a lot of rainfall so it was pretty damp and muddy. We continue to enjoy our little side tour and decide that there is a jolly good chance we can just keep going in a certain direction to meet a main route as we can see a small trail. We're quite high at this point walking alongside a tributary that is flowing at the bottom of quite a steep ravine as we continue on we eventually end up at water level and can see it flows through a small tunnel going under a main road. We know where we are and which main road it is so we decide to walk through the tunnel as the water is really shallow and want to see what's there. The water is freezing and we both slip at points so now, after staying reasonably dry, we are both soaking. We get back on a small trail parallel to the water but this trail soon ends and we find ourselves about half way up a steep ravine with no obvious trail forwards, down towards the water or up towards the top. The light has started going and neither of us really intended to be out this long, I haven't started to worry as I know generally where we are but at this point it is getting tiring and we both keep slipping on the muddy and mossy ground. A couple of seemingly sturdy roots and branches snap in my hand, leaving little thorny presents, and my sister decides to see if she can get to the top and see what is going on. The light is getting pretty dim just now and she says she can see lights but not much else and we know the main road is at the top of the other side of the ravine so we decide to cross over the tributary and scale the other side, though I express some reservations at how steep it is. We both end up doing controlled slides down the side of the ravine, though neither of us has appropriate clothing for the expedition this walk has turned into, and at this point I start to get anxious about the failing light, our lack of trail and the prospect of rock climbing because at the other side the top third is sheer rock face.

I hurt my wrist as I slip whilst coming out of the water and fall more than once as with squelchy clothing and shoes we scale the other side and I make for the rocks. I start to get really quite worried, thinking, "this is how these stories start! You hear about hikers and things who break limbs or die after just going out for a walk and people say 'oh no, they just went out for a walk' and that could be us what about if we need to get rescued does Bolton even have a mountain rescue or something how are we going to climb this what if my sister slips and breaks her leg because she has dyspraxia and a dodgy knee we were just joking about apocalypse scenarios last night and how she would probably go because she would fall over something" ... and so on. The ravine looks a lot steeper as the light fails and once we reach the rocks I start to climb but struggle to get on top of the first ledge as it's quite far from where my foothold is, a foothold which is rapidly slipping downwards in the mud. I grab on to another rock, which promptly crumbles in my hand, and I suddenly have a whole new set of worries about rocks knocking us both out or crushing our skulls.This isn't like Serious Jungle. We manage to get on the first ledge and realise (AS IF WE HAVEN'T UP TO THIS POINT) that we probably won't be able to scale the rest as it really is sheer and whilst we're both reasonably fit neither of us are experienced climbers and there is water trickling down the damp and slippy rocks which are FALLING DOWN THE SIDE OF THE RAVINE IF THEY AREN'T CRUMBLING IN OUR HANDS. We slide/stumble back to about half way down our side and decide to just persevere forwards, slipping and squelching as we hope we will find a trail. I start to worry a whole lot and though I can check where we are on my phone I wonder if we'll just come to a dead end. The ravine curves slightly ahead and as we turn we see the land start to flatten out. It is not very far from the ROCKS OF DEATH but the trees and the dimming light meant that my sister could not really see it when she was at the top of the other side of the ravine. There is not really a trail but the flatter terrain makes it easier to keep going, despite the two massive moss covered trees across the ground which must have fallen some months or years previously in a storm. We eventually see the low, rough stone wall that runs alongside the main road and whilst there is a steep incline up to it we make it up and over the last hurdle onto the main road and civilisation. We are both filthy. I'm wearing walking boots that aren't waterproof and jeans so the filth is obvious though my sister was wearing black leggings and had a nice pair of waterproof boots on so just looks a little bit ruffled. A sigh of relief as we walk a familiar route with sore feet and many small thorns and splinters in our hands as we had grabbed on to roots and vines during our ordeal. Unable to see them to pick them out in the failing light we mutually complain and continue on. THEN A WHITE VAN HONKS AT US AND IT MAKES ME REALLY MAD. SERIOUSLY, WE GET STREET HARASSED AFTER NEARLY DYING. I ACTUALLY EVEN THINK THAT OUR ENTIRE ORDEAL WAS THE FAULT OF THE PATRIARCHY. PROBABLY.

When I get home I do the thing that Mam used to make us do if we had been playing out and were really mucky where I took my trousers and socks off by the front door because they were too dirty to wear through the house. I had a shower where my hands tingled so much they were painful because of the thorns and the cold weather as I didn't want to put my gloves back on during the walk home with so many splinters and thorns. They are still a bit tingly now, actually.

So that was my Blue Monday, how was yours?