Extra! Extra! Unemployed girl gets some work as an Extra!

I've been bad at keeping this going this past month. I would like to say it's because I've been super busy but that would be a lie. I just haven't kept up.

Easter came and went and although I was pretty abysmal at doing my 40 days of creativity for Lent I did pull my finger out and just do a few more creative things.

I'm still waiting on my disclosure check to come through for my supply teaching job, I know it can take a while but the academic year will be finished by the time I get any hours and this is after me initially sending in an application form in October.

And so it was that somebody from the Swing Dance group I'm part of was in contact with an agency who were looking for some 20s Charleston dancers for a days work on a shoot. Being a person with almost exclusively free time I signed up because it seemed like it would be a laugh and I would get paid. We found out the day before that it was actually for BBC One drama The Village starring Maxine Peake and John Simm. I actually responded to an urgent casting call a few weeks ago, they were looking for extras for Testament of Youth, and after being told the casting directors liked the look of me was then told last minute that I wasn't selected. They wanted the women to have hair shoulder length or longer. Which is what they said in the first place but I chanced it and sent a picture in and I was told that the casting directors "liked the look" of me but I suppose that is the nature of film and TV. So anyway, yes, we had a really early call time of 6.45am somewhere in the Peak District - which is a really beautiful part of Britain, by the way - except we were given the wrong location by the agency. Eventually we found the base for that days shooting and after parking up we were bussed to a church hall to get our hair, makeup and costumes.

Now I actually have a TV credit to my name already. I know, I know, requests for autographs can be made via my agent. I had a small part in an ITV drama starring Paul McGann, Caroline Quentin and Sheridan Smith playing Paul McGann's daughter. This was many many years ago and they actually wanted a tap dancer for the part (funny how my dancing is getting me on'telly) and I haven't done anything like it since. I didn't want to be that tit annoying everybody by going "well when I was in this...." so I only mentioned it if anyone else asked during the small talk amongst the extras "have you ever done anything like this before?" and truthfully it was so long ago and as it was a named part the experience of being an extra was quite new to me anyway.

I'm used to being the star.

Anyway, we got bussed from the church hall to the set and the scene was in this new to the village Charleston club and we had to dance away. I won't give away too many plot elements but I got to Charleston right next to Maxine Peake which was really quite cool. She went to my sixth form. I obviously didn't say this to her (or anything at all!) because it's really unprofessional but it was fun to just be there. It was very stoppy starty, which I expected, and we had to dance over and over again but it was absolutely fascinating to see how it was all working. The different shots taken, the way they up the music then mute it, the different blocking by the actors. This is the stuff I want to be a part of. I applied for the BBC production scheme and got through the first stage, I haven't heard anything yet and on my careers hub page it says "application in review" but really it's my dream job and I hope I get on the scheme. When I'm applying for other productiony type jobs could I put The Village as a production credit do you think even though I was in front of the camera? We'll say yes. Really what I want to do is work on the scripts but just even being the person who holds the cables for the cameraperson would be great or being the one who rallies the extras on set would be awesome.

The day itself was very long, we were told it would be until 5pm but we didn't get away until about 6.30pm, such is film and TV. And they had loads of fake cigarettes in the scene and the smoke was really catching my throat by the end of the day. My costume was quite fun and I actually really loved my shoes, I will definitely try and find a pair like them, and I met quite a few other dancers that had been rounded up by my friend for the shoot. It's always great to meet other dancers.

Then a few days after I saw a tweet by another agency looking for extras. Perfect! I thought, so I have a meeting coming up with them soon. Extras work would be great for me just now as I have full flexibility and the pay isn't bad and I get to see productions as they are...producing!

In other news, I submitted a few things to newsjack a few weeks ago. None made it on air but it's all good practice nonetheless. Gems such as this TV listing; "Hannibal Lecter makes a surprise appearance in the season finale of How I ate your Mother." The BBC writersroom has just opened it's comedy script submissions so I was thinking about sending something in (if I can actually get it down and done properly) but we'll see if I chicken out. I got really inspired by the BBC Salford Comedy Festival but as that was over a month now I can feel that I'm all "but it's going to be crap" again. I know I just need to get over it and do it.

Young people and parties.

My brother had his 18th birthday party last night. I documented it through that most noble of modern mediums, the selfie.

Brother's 18th party, there are a bunch of teenagers in my house having fun.

Luckily for me and my older sister there is food.

Dunno who these teens are but they are clearly having fun.

I tried engaging (talking about "selfies") but they all left. Thanks go out to my friend who works with young people and suggested topics such as Nandos, flappy birds and being both sorry and not sorry at the same time. 

Some of them came back.

They started playing battle-shots. What fresh Hell is this?

Managed to co-opt the music.

Went to the toilet, a slight reprieve from these young people.

These two are "in love."

I'm taking a selfie with young people.

I've been roped into playing the box game.

Hoovering up.

Morning after.

Maybe I'll have to change the name of this blog....

I have been accepted by the music centre and will be signed onto the supply teaching books. Huzzah! I have no idea how many hours I will end up eventually getting but at least it is something. Something creative. I'll still be devoting time to more meaningful employment in terms of the career I ultimately want.

I also got offered the other job. I know I should just be grateful. I am grateful. But I rejected it. I really do not want to be working two part-time jobs when neither are necessarily beneficial to my main career plans, particularly when the library job was not very good pay and didn't have flexible hours. I even said in the interview when asked "where do you see yourself in five years?" that I wanted to be working full-time in a publishing house or media company. I was hardly going to be all "it's my dream to be a part-time assistant librarian in a private school" was I? Only they clearly saw something (well, let's not blame them there) and decided they wanted me. Imbeciles. Nah, they all seemed really lovely. And, as I've said elsewhere, it really wouldn't be hideous working there. There were some obvious pros to the job (at the very least a regular income and regular hours) but too many obvious cons. And I had already accepted to music job by the time I got this offer.

It is, however, going to motivate me to make sure I am actually doing stuff beneficial to my career. If I've turned down this job I really need to make it pay off. And so we come to the 40 days of creativity. I have been awful, but it was my brother's birthday and then my birthday but at least I'm not 24, unemployed and living with my mother. I'm just 24 and living with my mother.

I definitely haven't done something creative everyday for Lent but I have made more of an effort generally, but on Monday I had those two interviews, so I did very little apart from that. And then I was concerned with buying my brother's birthday presents. Then I had to go into town to sign on. But I did buy a diary and write an entry. I have this thing where I have loads of notebooks given as gifts or souvenirs but I never want to write in them because I'm afraid I'll just be wasting them. I know. Notebooks are supposed to be written in. So I bought a really cheap one to start another diary. I used to write and write and write as a teenager and I rediscovered these chronicles recently, and reread them with much mirth, and thought well, if I'm serious about really trying this writing thing I should actually get in the habit of writing. I obviously have this blog but I can take a diary anywhere and write any old crap without being afraid of what people think.

I've generally still been batting creative ideas around but I had to get ready for some guests who visited this weekend for my birthday. I did create a treasure hunt in the garden for them which culminated in them finding a sword and slaying my brother who was dressed up as a foul creature. I suppose that was quite creative.

40 days of creativity and 2 interviews.

I don't usually do Lent. I've never been into dieting so I've never given up chocolate or carbs or whatever. Even when I considered myself to be religious the only thing I did for Lent was consider my faith a lot. This year, however, I have decided to do something. Being unemployed really chips away at your confidence, motivation and self-esteem so in order to make sure I stay motivated and actually be productive I've decided to make sure I do something creative everyday throughout Lent. Like, actually create something. For a while now whenever I've picked up my guitar or sat down to create something I would just feel like I had lost all joy from it. Hopefully this project will get me back into a routine of being motivated and being creative.

Day one - I learnt a new blues riff on guitar and worked a bit more on a different blues song I've been kicking about for a while.

Day two - I was on a long train journey so didn't do that much, but I was listening to music and jotted down a few ideas for some lyrics for stuff.

Day three - Yeah, I did nothing this day. I've been pretty rubbish. I did go and see the OpSoc show though which was good, and creative. And I bought some clarinet reeds and some clarinet books.

Day four - Didn't really do anything today either, I'm terrible. I had a long journey back down to home, so that's my excuse.

Day five - Got out my clarinet and started playing for the first time in a long time. Whilst I was looking through my old clarinet music I found the sheet music for a piano/vocal song I thought I had lost ages ago and was quite gutted about. This creativity thing is paying off already. So I got my keyboard out and had a play through it again.

I probably wouldn't have gotten my clarinet out today if it wasn't for my interview tomorrow, which is a story in and of itself. So. My former singing teacher had mentioned  back in September when she found out I was going to be back home for the foreseeable future that I could join the Music Centre supply teaching books for voice and maybe clarinet and just generally doing supply work. So I handed in an application form and months later I finally get an email from someone at the office asking about my application and finally I have an interview SIX MONTHS AFTER HANDING IN AN APPLICATION. I emailed asking about the format of the interview and only on Thursday (whilst I was on the train) did I get an email saying that I will be tested on woodwind and should prepare a lesson. I haven't played clarinet in ages and voice is really my first instrument so I am completely confused. Maybe because my singing teacher is assistant head of Music Centre she could vouch for my vocal abilities and that's why they want to test woodwind? No idea. But it's annoying that they only mentioned this on Thursday, I could have taken some music with me on the train to prepare.

I also have another interview, which is good for me in a way, but it's for a job I don't particularly want. I only applied because I have to apply for a certain amount of jobs to be entitled to job seekers allowance and I deliberately submitted a crappy application. But some idiot has gone and offered me an interview. It's for part-time assistant librarian which wouldn't be hideous but it's not really what I want to do. The pay isn't great but a job's a job. But they want me to bring my birth certificate to an interview. And they expect me to be there at 11.15, have a tour of the school, do two clerical tasks, break for lunch, speak to students about library services then (and only then) does my interview commence at 2pm. And this was just sent in an email this past week, I had assumed I hadn't made it past the first stage as I had heard nothing but then I received this email. No phone call, no confirmations, just an email expecting me to be there in excess of 3 hours for a 16 hour a week job. Is this common practice? Can anyone confirm?

The music job would be good money, but really sporadic hours as it is supply so literally just covering sickness and other absences. I would also need to fork out for insurance on a car as I would be expected to go to a lot of schools as the music centre is a hub and sends peripatetic teachers out to local schools.

The librarian job is at a school that I could walk to every day, the hours would be regular so I could devote other time to searching for a job I do actually want but the pay is rubbish and I dunno if I can be bothered with snotty nosed private-school children (yeah it's at a private school).

But I know I'm lucky to have two interviews, I just wish they were two interviews for jobs that would start my career!

Swingin' Scotland

Last weekend I was at a swing dance workshop in Edinburgh called "The University of Swing" organised by Edinburgh University's very own swing dance society. It was great and I hadn't been to a weekend workshop since one in Aberdeen almost four years ago. The university gimmick worked quite well with the three streams for beginners, intermediates and advanced...s being renamed Bachelor of Swing (BSw), Masters of Swing (MSw) and Doctorate of Philosophy in Swing (PhDSw) respectively. They had wee paper degrees rolled up on string to decorate the hall for the Saturday night social and all in all it was very lovely.

I decided to do the whole weekend as a lead, traditionally women are follows and men are leads, as I felt I would get more out of the weekend as a lead. I had started leading as a necessity when I first established the society at Dundee because, quite simply, there weren't enough! It was really interesting to learn how to lead and I enjoyed working out the moves but after a while I did start to begrudge it just a bit. But then, I dunno, something clicked or switched or whatever and now I actually prefer leading to following (although I will still always love following particularly when a fabulous hunk of a dancer is leading me into swingy glory). I could have easily done the PhD stream as a follow (check me!) but I've been noticing on the social dance floor that I have a gap in knowledge of intermediate lead moves. I've done one or two advanced classes or workshops as a lead where the move there and then is broken down so I pick it up ok but generally speaking, on the social dance floor, you don't use advanced moves nearly half as much as you use beginners and intermediate ones; unless you know your partner really well and dance with them very regularly and as I often spend more time following than leading on the social floor I don't get the opportunity to practise those moves as much as I would like so I start to lose them. That was a long rambly sentence. So yeah, I have my basics and I know a few advanced moves (which aren't necessarily that useful in a social dance) but I had a dearth of knowledge regarding intermediate moves as a lead and I thought this weekend would be a really great opportunity to fill that gap and just learn all the tricks and nuances that come after a weekend of intense dancing.

I'm a great believer in giving and receiving plenty of feedback in a workshop environment, on a social floor it's considered bad etiquette to give unsolicited feedback, so I would often ask my follows questions after we'd tried a move such as "how was that connection" and "how did that feel, could you tell the change?" One of the follows said "it's so great that you talk about the move and ask for feedback, not a lot of others in this group are" which took me aback slightly but I know how, sometimes, even a workshop environment can be intimidating. I just happen to have an over-inflated ego and massive lady balls. I am, though, one of those really annoying people that asks the teacher loads of questions too. But I had a nice moment where I put my hand up to ask a question and the teacher said "is it ok if we just get to you in a minute?" but by the time they came round and asked if I was ok my partner and I had answered it ourselves. A little bit of personal problem solving. It felt good.

The social dances were great, although I felt like I was in a bit of a no woman's land in a way. On the social dance floor I lead and follow but as I had lead in the workshops I didn't really meet any of the other leads (this happens a lot, you tend to meet everybody in the opposite role but not that many in your role, as you don't dance with them) so I didn't really get asked at all by leads outwith the Dundee group. I obviously could have gone and asked them but I was more interested in asking the follows as I wanted to practice what I had learnt, but then I got weirdly nervous. And not many of the follows (outwith Dundee) really asked me as I suppose they only really thought of the leads as the men, which is fair enough as that is the traditional role. One or two of the follows that I had met in the workshop, though, did come up and ask me to dance as a lead and it really made my night. One of the best dances I had on the Saturday was with a woman from the intermediate stream who asked me to dance. I got asked again by a follow from my workshop at the blues after-party, even though I know very little blues - and I told her this, which was really great too, a confidence boost. I went ahead and asked one of the follow teachers to dance too and she complimented me on my leading which was nice although I am aware she was at the weekend in a teaching capacity and is encouraging to everyone, but it was still nice to be told I lead well.

There are some cool little moves though, I just dunno if I'll ever get. There is just a (and I may well lose some people here) masculine energy from the male leads (I don't necessarily think that leading and following is or needs to be gendered, it's just that tradition has fallen that way, what I'm talking about is when men are dancing whichever role) that I must be trying to emulate when I lead on a subconscious level (as I most often see men leading) but I can never get quite right. Maybe it's just a confidence thing? Who knows. And I always feel more confident leading when wearing trousers and more pretty and graceful following when I'm wearing a dress or a skirt. And I know that that is just social conditioning. But it's a strange one.

In other news I submitted some comedy sketches to a BBC Radio 4 show. I have no expectations (even though I have them a bit) but I have no expectations on what will happen. I think I read that for their last submissions something like 800 sketches were sent in. Maybe more. Maybe it was over 1000. Both those numbers ring a bell. I also booked a ticket to a comedy writing speaker thing at MediaCity so it would be great to get some tips and meet people. I feel so silly saying that I want to be a writer and particularly write jokes, I suppose it's because I know other people who want to be writers but who just aren't very good and I'm afraid that people will think that about me when I say it. Please do not use this blog as a measuring stick, it is waffle, drivel and just word vomit. It's just that I've tried to get sensible publishing/media jobs and I'm aware that creator jobs are hard to come by, extraordinarily competitive and have little money until you really make it, but I've been applying for sensible office type jobs in the sector and I'm getting nowhere so I'm actually going to give this a jolly good go and start writing properly.

Tomorrow.

Sore limbs and software

Having really missed dancing and being freshly inspired by the Olympic figure skating I decided to send a quick message to my old dance teacher and see if I could come back to a few classes as I appear to be stuck at home for the foreseeable future. "Yes," said she, and so I found myself raking around my room for a pair of ballet tights on Friday evening for a ballet class on Saturday morning. I did a ballet shoe sweep and found five pairs.

I was a bit nervous as it has been almost six years since I've done a class and a good few months since I've done any regular exercise at all and I was going back in at the level I left off but resolved to give it a jolly good go. I'd forgotten most of the ballet terms but as soon as I was shown the exercises I was surprised at how much came flooding back, and how much core strength and poise I had retained. Yeah I was basically awesome. 

Nah, I'm not that much of a dick. I really was surprised, though, at how I had kept my natural turnout but my flexibility and energy levels left a lot to be desired, the rest of the class were young, sprightly seventeen year olds and on more than one occasion if we were doing an exercise on the right foot, then the left then repeating I would just do it the once on the right and the left. I'm young in the grand scheme of things but I felt old in those moments. Then came the time for pointe shoes. If I was apprehensive before I was at that moment but again, resolved to give it a jolly good go. I did the exercises at the barre but sat out the repeats for most of them but when we moved to the centre I was pleasantly surprised to find I still had some old strength for a few of the exercises. I'm not going to lie, it felt like I was magically floating a wee bit until my toes started hurting and I realised I'd scraped a bit of skin off the top of my fourth toe. 

In other news, my younger sister has a laptop she is essentially not using as she got a shiny one from disability services at her university so she said that I could put some fancy editing software on it (stuff that would make my computer shake of this mortal coil) and HitFilm were giving away HitFilm 2 Express for free so I downloaded myself a bit of that, used an amazon voucher I got a few months ago to buy a graphics tablet (the Wacom Intuos, will post more about it as I use it and let people know whether I rate it) and have a version of photoshop now. I am, indeed, a woman of the 21st century. My friend and I filmed a short on Sunday, the idea being a spoof of those existential French New Wave type films but about my unemployment. We'll see how it pans out, we thought it was hilarious but really I just want to have a play around with my new software and see what happens. 

In other other news, I was back at the job centre on Thursday for my signing. I couldn't remember the name of my advisor so when the G4S man at the entrance to the stairs asked who I was seeing I ended up saying "Margaret..?" As it was a name that popped into my head and seemed like the name of a woman who would work at the job centre. He goes "Margaret's not working today" at which point I find my card and tell him who my advisor is and I go through but it tickled me that I assumed an advisor would be called Margaret and of course there was a Margaret working at the job centre. There is always a Margaret. Then, when I went into the room to wait for my name to be called, I walked through the door and another G4S man said "you know what you're doing, yeah?" to which I replied "sit and wait for my life to begin." He didn't look too amused but as I took my seat on the primary coloured benches I had a good old chuckle at my own wit.

Oh, and I shadowed the lights at Bolton Little Theatre last week and even pressed the button for the cues a few times. It felt pretty powerful. Hopefully I'll be able to help out at the upcoming shows too and learn a bit more about it all. 

Sochi 2014: Why I am watching.

I was going to go for a swim today but the timetable online is hideously outdated so I had actually missed the open swim. Annoying. I swam a lot when I was younger and then at university but I have been hideously lazy during unemployment and the fantastic athletes at the Winter Olympics have spurred me on to be more active.

Speaking of the Winter Olympics, I have been watching the first few days coverage with much enjoyment and have been supporting Team GB with much enthusiasm.

But with this has come some measure of inexplicable guilt as even though I have carefully considered my relationship to the Sochi 2014 Winter Games and my decision to watch and support Team GB I understand those who aren't. The human rights abuses being carried out against LGBT peoples in Russia are horrific and Putin's administration should be vilified, but I don't think that the Olympics should be boycotted by athletes (I don't think any have this year but it was certainly discussed a few months ago) or that the viewing public should not watch and here is why:

Russia has previously been snubbed at the 1980 Olympics in protest of their invasion of Afghanistan. Seemingly, the Russian's (or USSR as it was at the time) did not care and continued to occupy the territory for four more years.

I understand the desire to hit the sponsors where it hurts, but money has already been paid and the coverage licences already sold. I really don't think that enough people are boycotting for it to make a discernible difference and that there are more effective ways. Also, not watching and not supporting the Winter Games doesn't only hurt the sponsors, which brings me to my next point.

The athletes participating have absolutely nothing to do with the anti-LGBT laws that have been passed. Many of the athletes at Sochi will be at the peak of their careers, scoring their season's bests (some already have), personal bests and perhaps even lifetime bests. To deny them the chance to compete or to ignore their achievements at the games punishes the athletes. Instead, I am openly and vocally supporting the athletes, particularly those who are out and those who a vocal supporters of the LGBT community.

Some people have opined that Clare Balding should not have traveled to Sochi to be the BBC Sports news anchor for the coverage; stating that she is just doing it for the money or that she should be ashamed of herself, like she does not know what homophobia is or has no experience of it. One twat (a tweeter who is an idiot) used a homophobic slur in his tweet to Balding about her decision to go to Sochi (the irony was seemingly lost on him) but has since apologised for his tweet. Clare Balding is delivering sterling coverage as per and by going as an openly lesbian women and the anchor of the world renown BBC sports coverage she is visible, she is proud and she is sticking two fingers up to Putin.This is why I am watching her. Read more about her and her partner's responses to the trolls http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/clare-balding-responds-sochi-backlash080214

My hope is by watching and enjoying the sports, openly supporting my team and other outstanding athletes, openly supporting the BBC and Balding's coverage and openly supporting any and everyone who speaks up about LGBT rights over the course of the games that those who are intolerant will see how visible and vocal the opposition is. I've been tweeting (to my admittedly only double figure followers) about the games using the hashtags #pride and #CondemnPutinSupportAthletes. It is only a small thing but if more and more sports fans and LGBT rights (or as I like to call them, RIGHTS) supporters are tweeting, showing support and tolerance in the face of oppression then maybe people will take notice. Boycotts work in some instances, but how can a boycott on moral grounds be effective when what you are targeting doesn't have a moral compass in the first place? Visibility and noisiness will shove the truth under Putin's steely nose and surely this will have more of an effect?

As an afterthought, I watched the Channel 4 documentary Hunted and, whilst it made for difficult viewing, was glad that something like this was being broadcast. One of the points made by an LGBT advocate and teacher was that the Russian government has focused attention on the LGBT community and vilified them in an attempt to cover up state failings. I can't help but wonder if the same is happening in the UK with vulnerable and lower income people and the welfare system.